Nicholas S. Clause
AKA: Santa, Mr. Claus, Old St. Nick, the man in the red suit
SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS
Inspirational leader with skills in business administration, nonprofit governance, eleven resource management, and global enterprise. Innovator in retail marketing, child development evaluation, and covert tactical operations. Capable of supervising complex systems and motivating teams with or without antlers. Impeccable track record for meeting deadlines. Willing to work holidays.
Core Competencies
Professional Experience
Clause Industries, Inc. 5/1965 – Present
CEO
Accelerated production to meet demands on seven continents
Orchestrated collective bargaining agreement with Board of Elves Chairman that retained backbreaking profit margins while improving elf rights
Developed double – checking naughty – nice data analysis system
Flew a sleigh to 2 billion houses in a 24 – hour race against the sun
Kris Kringle Enterprises, LLC 12/1872 – 1964
Senior VP Engineering and Distribution
Monetized charitable gift delivery to produce multi – trillion – dollar annual revenue
Genetically engineered troupe of menial clones with advanced dexterity, diminutive statures, and high tolerance for cold temperatures
Coined the term “Elves”
Developed reverse magnetic flight system to reduce flying reindeer strain by 50%
Passed title IX reindeer game legislation
Self – Employed New York, NY 7/1870 – 11/1872
Sin-terklass Procurement
Managed seasonal escort service
Circumvented global mythical being and folklore legend trespassing ban with creative business model
Established trade mark HO, HO, HO catchphrase
Additional details available upon request
Yuletide Craftsmen Essex, England 12/364 – 7/1870
Father Christmas
Designed toys for underprivileged children
Established mass production system
Patented fireproof clothing
Learned magic and the art of the ninja
St. Nicholas Institute of Benevolence, Lycia 2/325 – 12/346
Bishop of Myra
Launched gift – giving program
Established sainthood
Revitalized economy of Lycia (modern – day Turkey)
Delivered presents without elementary – aged children questioning my existence
References
Easter Bunny – 555 – 000 – 000, 314 Cadbury Way, Hidden Egg, NJ, 03415
Hanukkah Harry – 888 – CRA – ZNTS, 8 Lovitz Lane, Hollywood, CA, 91601
Cher – You know I can’t just give out Cher’s info. Call me, and I’ll arrange a conference call on a secure line